


Conflict Resolution

by TheOtherOdinson



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: (how is that not a tag?), (mostly Loki shaped issues), Angst, Daddy Issues, Family Drama, Gen, Gods Crying, Loki Has Issues, Parent Death, Ragnarok AU, Thor has issues too, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 06:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14130312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOtherOdinson/pseuds/TheOtherOdinson
Summary: After Odin's death in Norway, Thor and Loki were left alone to deal with their loss and anger. Just the two of them. With no interruptions.





	Conflict Resolution

**Author's Note:**

> I think it's pretty commonly agreed if Hela hadn't arrived when she did, Loki was going to get his ass kicked. However, it was [this post by portraitoftheoddity](https://portraitoftheoddity.tumblr.com/post/168297730009/ragnarok-au-where-hela-doesnt-show-up-so-thor-and) on Tumblr that largely inspired this story.

Odin was gone.

Faded into dust. A part of Loki questioned what he witnessed with own eyes. His own senses. The humming power always present, uniquely Odin, no longer beside him. He questioned even as he reached out with his own power, as if he could draw Odin back. _Don't leave me_ , a small, childish voice within him wanted to cry out. A voice Loki thought extinguished long ago.

Odin not being there was almost inconceivable. The man who set the course of Loki's life by picking him up off a frozen altar so many years ago. The man Loki spent a lifetime trying to please. Grasping for some a sign, any sign, that Loki might be as favoured in the his eye as Thor. As cherished. As loved. The man Loki rejected with a frightening fervour when all the ties to the life he thought he had snapped one by one.

The man whom Loki called _father_ one last time while he acted the part of the regretful and dutiful son leaving his addled parent in the place where mortals abandoned their elders. Hiding his smirk as the workers handed him papers to sign. A smirk that fell away when he turned to Odin to say goodbye, and Odin had only looked back at him in confusion.

The victory had not tasted as sweet then.

But now Odin was gone. To find Frigga. To find peace. Leaving Loki and Thor behind with the weight of his secrets and their heritage to grapple with alone one last time.

Typical.

Odin was dead. And Loki didn't know how to feel. His mind was cluttered with unexpected turmoil and emotion. This was probably why he didn't recognize the growing danger next to him.

The first sign was the darkening skies overhead. When Loki turned to look at Thor, he saw clearly the second sign. Lightning playing around Thor's shaking hands.

"Brother," Loki said cautiously, unsure if it was wise to remind Thor of his presence.

"This was your doing," Thor spoke in a low, threatening voice. And the skies grew even darker when Thor finally looked at him.

The hairs rose on the back of Loki's neck, both in response to the increasing pressure in the air and the way Thor was looking at him. With undisguised rage. Loki had inspired Thor to anger countless times in their lives. Anger that brought them to blows many times. Anger that had them screaming hate-filled words at one another.

But Thor never looked at him the way he was looking now.

Loki's hackles went up unbidden. His shoulders lifting and body tensing as he adjusted his stance, making ready for Thor's first move.

A move that involved an unintelligible cry of anger and pain as Thor slammed the disguised umbrella to the ground. The ground shook and lightning filled the space and scorched the ground around them. With a thought, Loki shifted out of his own Midgardian disguise and back into his normal leathers. When the air cleared, Thor was dressed in his armour and had already thrown Mjolnir. Straight at Loki's face.

Loki ducked and rolled out of the way. Deprived of a target, Mjolnir flew until Thor called it back to his hand.

Loki put out his hands placating. "Thor, please."

"You did this!" Thor yelled. "You killed him."

"I didn't! I never meant for this to happen."

Thor laughed. A broken, ugly sound. "Oh, that's always your story, isn't it, Loki? 'I didn't mean it. I didn't know what would happen. It was just a prank.' " Thor mocked. It sounded awful coming from him.

"Thor..."

Thor spoke over him. "Congratulations. Killing the king of Asgard. Your greatest accomplishment yet. How does it feel? You must be very pleased with yourself. Do you think Mother would be proud?"

Loki flinched as Thor twisted and hurled Odin's earlier words back with the same ferociousness as he'd thrown Mjolnir.

The sky was entirely dark and overcast now. The bright, pleasant day vanishing under the storm of Thor's anger. Thunder rolled overhead and the wind picked up.

"I know you are upset..."

Loki dodged out of the way just in time as Mjolnir flew past. Fast enough to get out of the hammer's path. But not fast enough to escape Thor's as he slammed into him. Loki hit the ground with enough force to drive all the air out of his lungs at once. It was like being tackled by...well, Thor.

Before Loki had time to take in a breath Thor's fist came down, striking him square in the face. Loki gasped from the pain and Thor hit him again. And again. And again. And showed no sign of stopping. Loki threw an arm up to deflect the blows being rained down on him. With his other hand, he called a blast of energy to send Thor flying off him.

Loki rolled to his feet quickly. But no quicker than Thor. Blood dripping from his nose and mouth, Loki brushed at it impatiently while staring Thor down. The wind was still whipping around them. Loki didn't know where Mjolnir went. Probably still flying along the path Thor sent it before he threw himself at Loki instead.

"Brother, please."

Thor cut him off with an enraged sound. "No! You do not get to talk your way out of this. You do not get to call me _brother_ ," he spat the word out like it was something obscene, "after what you have done. To me. To our entire family."

"I did not mean for this to happen!"

"You gutted us!" Thor hollered like Loki hadn't spoken. "When we thought you were dead - the first time. It was like you killed us all. And then you came back to mock us for our grief because you don't even have the decency to stay dead."

Loki reared back as if struck.

"Then mother. Dying while you were still so busy _spitting_ on her love. Because your anger and your pain are so much more important than anyone else's. And then you _died_. Again. A grand performance that. Like a fool, I wasted my tears and grief on you. All the while you mocked and laughed and plotted more death and pain whilst wearing my father's face."

"That's not what happened."

"Shut up!"

"Let me explain."

"I said - shut up!"

Thor lunged again and Loki danced out of his path. He sent doubles running in all directions while he tried to slip away, but Thor brought lightning down with an angry roar and the doubles melted away before Loki could escape.

Loki turned to run and Thor took chase. Loki had always been the faster of the two. At least, he was before Thor took up Mjolnir. Loki didn't look back to see what Thor was doing after he started to run. His mistake. Mjolnir clipped one leg and Loki went down hard on his knees. Thor grabbed him by the back of the neck a moment later. Loki grit his teeth and came up fighting.

The pair of them had traded blows more times than either of them could remember. Frigga would often claim they were throwing punches at each other since they were old enough to aim. But never like this. Thor never hit Loki with so much grief and rage powering him. Loki couldn't claim he never fought back as viciously as he did. Thor always inspired it in him like no other.  

Thor was hitting indiscriminately. There was no thought or strategy to it. He was hitting to hurt. His pain seeking a target. An outlet. Loki blocked or deflected most of the hits, but not all. He hit back every chance he got, but Thor on the offensive was a force few could ever match. Loki knew him well enough to fight him to a stand still most of the time in a fair fight. But this fight was anything but fair, and Loki was always better at fighting dirty.

Thor got in a good uppercut that snapped Loki's head back, pain radiating from his jaw to the top of his skull. Loki dropped back a few steps, sliding a hand behind his back. Thor followed him. When he was close enough, Loki lunged at his face. The move caught Thor by surprise. So did the small fireball Loki whipped at him. Thor tried to duck, but he wasn't fast enough. A sharp cry and a whiff of burnt hair and skin assured Loki his fire had made its mark.

Thor came back up with a roar. Loki ducked and spun under one of Thor's wild swings. He came up behind Thor and kicked him hard in the back of the knee. Thor stumbled forward and Loki hooked one foot around Thor's leg to trip him. Thor went down to the ground and Loki delivered a vicious kick to his ribs. He went moved to kick him again, but Thor grabbed hold of his boot before he could make contact and wrapped both arms around Loki's leg, dragging him to the ground.

Thor scrambled to pin him down as Loki wriggled to get free. Thor summoned his lightning to hand and drove it down into his moving target. Loki yelped as the lightning shocked him. Then again when Thor repeated it with vicious satisfaction.

They rolled around on the ground, punching and slapping at each other. Loki grabbed a handful of Thor's hair and yanked, kicking at Thor's legs as he did so. Thor grunted in pain before grabbing at Loki's own hair and using it to knock Loki's head back into the ground. Loki snarled. He let go of Thor's hair and dug his nails into the exposed skin on Thor's arms, clawing and trying to draw blood. But Thor did not let up.

Loki conjured a short dagger and jammed it into Thor's side, near his waist. Thor howled and pounded Loki's head back into the ground again. Loki gripped one of Thor's arms with both hands and raised himself up enough to sink his teeth into the flesh. Thor cried out again. He brought his other fist down on the side of Loki's head repeatedly until Loki let go with his teeth. He was seeing stars.

Thor grabbed Loki by the collar and hauled him to his feet, shaking him like a dog with a rat.

"I will never forgive you. Never!" Thor shouted in his face.

Loki smiled at him. His nose was still bleeding. One eye was already starting to swell. He could taste blood pooling in his mouth. He grinned a wide and wicked smile, his teeth painted in mix of his and Thor's blood. He knew he must look deranged.

"If I cared what you thought, that might hurt my feelings. But, alas, I don't." Before Thor could react, Loki produced another dagger, thrusting it forward and into Thor's abdomen.

Thor shoved him away with both hands. Hard. Loki stumbled and fell backwards to the ground. Loki rolled to his side and spit the blood from his mouth.

"You are a hateful, vile thing," Thor growled. He yanked both daggers out of his body, dropping them to the ground.

"I love you, too, brother."

Thor glared down at him with contempt. "You are not my brother," he said with deadly calm. "My brother is dead." Thor turned and walked away.

Loki stared at Thor's retreating back. "Thor."

Thor ignored him and kept walking.

"Oh, that's right, walk away," Loki taunted. "Because you do it so well. It's sure to solve everything."

Nothing.

"Thor!"

Thor stopped. Keeping his back to Loki, he extended an arm to call for Mjolnir.

Anger and grief and fear and pain tangled together as they roiled through Loki's mind like hissing serpents. He pressed one hand flat on the ground and spellcast. Thor grunted as snakes sprang up from the ground and wrapped themselves around his legs. He dropped his arm just as Mjolnir sailed by him. Thor shot an aggrieved look back at Loki over his shoulder.

Loki climbed slowly to his feet and began stalking across the ground toward Thor.

Thor noticed his approach as he tried to pull himself free. "Enough of this. Free me," he demanded, more annoyed then worried. "Loki!"

Loki conjured two daggers and kept moving closer. Thor gave him a look filled with exasperation and held his arm out again. In the next moment, Mjolnir zipped past the side of Loki's head to land in Thor's open hand and Thor slammed the hammer to the ground.

The snakes disappeared. Loki was knocked off his feet.

And the cliffside they were standing on collapsed beneath them.

 

*** * ***

 

The tumbling trip down the cliffside and into the churning sea below was almost as unpleasant as being beaten bloody by Thor.

But not quite.

Still, there was something to be said for being plunged into cold waters after a fight. It was bracing, for one thing. Nothing like a shock - a different kind of one at any rate - to the system to force body and mind into changing gears. Like avoiding the rocks in the water and the falling debris they'd brought down with them, for instance. For another thing, it gave Loki a chance to reconsider his actions.

He'd been advancing on Thor with intent to do grave bodily harm. And Thor hadn't even done him the courtesy of looking concerned.

That was offensive.

Loki was more than capable of killing Thor if he wanted to. He just...didn't want to. That's all. It was a waste of his time and energy.

A huge splash nearby signaled Thor surfacing with all the subtlety of a great whale exploding out of the water. Thor coughed, treading the waves and searching his surroundings, looking for any dangers. He, too, made motions to avoid the rocks and the last chunks of falling earth. Then he caught sight of Loki. His face darkened.

Thor started swimming toward him.

_Wonderful._

Loki swam in the opposite direction.

"Loki, come back here."

Loki kept going.

"Loki!"

Thor was a powerful swimmer, but Loki had the best advantage over him in the water - he could turn into a fish. And he did.

Darting through the water with ease, Loki sought a place of refuge. A quiet inlet. A small beach. Even a rocky shelf carved in the cliff face. Somewhere he could slip away and regroup in peace. Decide what to do next. Where to go.

Loki kept careful watch for errant fishing nets while he swam, looking for a good spot to stop and change back to himself. He spied what looked to be a narrow, rocky beach not far off. Probably not even wide enough to lie down. But it would do.

Loki had no sooner adjusted his course to swim closer to it than a large hand closed over him. He thrashed to get free as he was lifted out of the water.

"Oh, would you stop it," came Thor's irritated voice. Followed by a shock of lightning.

It was enough to force Loki out of his fish-shape. He came back to himself with a shocked gasp, Thor gripping him by one foot. Loki flipped over in the water as best he could to kick Thor in the head with his free foot.

Eyes narrowed, Thor let go of Loki's foot only to grab at one the tails of his sodden leather coat and use it drag him closer. Then Thor place both his hands atop Loki's head and dunked him beneath the waves. After some time had passed, Thor dragged Loki back up. Loki had just enough time to draw breath before Thor dunked him again.

"Had enough?" Thor asked the next time he let him up.

Sputtering and coughing, Loki could only glare through the hair plastered to his face.

Thor shook his head in disgust. He pointed past Loki's ear at the little beach Loki had been aiming for and gave him a small push. "Swim. Try the fish trick on me again, and I'll bring a sky full of lightning down upon your fishy little head."

Loki swam.

 

*** * ***

 

Loki was in reach of the rocky beach when his adrenalin began to drain away, exhaustion creeping slowly through his limbs. He stumbled when he tried to rise and walk the rest of the distance out of the water, splashing back down. Before he could decide whether to try and stand again or lower himself to crawl out of the water on his hands and knees, Thor gripped him by the back of his clothing and hauled him the rest of the way out of the water. As soon as his feet hit dry land, Thor released him and Loki fell face-first onto the ground.

Loki didn't move. He pressed his forehead to the smooth, cool rocks that covered this small bit of shoreline and breathed. His body choosing now to register its hurts and a throbbing ache took up through his face and head. It was nothing he could not heal, of course. He just needed a moment.

There was a crunch of footsteps beside him. Loki turned his head enough to track Thor as he walked past him before flopping down on the shore just out of arm's reach. Water touched the side of Loki's face and it took him a minute to realize it was not the surf reaching up the beach to try and drown him, but rain falling down. A sudden torrent of rain.

"Do you mind?" Loki asked Thor waspishly.

Thor said nothing. He sat with his knees up and arms propped on them, his head down. A picture of dejection.

Loki rolled his eyes and immediately regretted it as it made his head ache more.

"Thor."

The rain pounded down on them in sheets. Loki inched himself further up the shore and flipped over on his back before sitting up and shuffling backwards until he felt the press of hard earth behind him. Taking in the surroundings, he saw they were surrounded by high cliffs and water. Loki was not looking forward to finding a way out. Thor, of course, could just fly out. Loki didn't think Thor was up to giving him a lift.

"If you wanted me to drown, you could have just left me in the water."

Thor kept ignoring him.

"Will you talk to me?"

"What would you like me to say?" Thor said, not looking up. "Shall we talk about how you faked your death. Stole the throne? Exiled father to his death? Please tell me where you would like to start."

Loki shivered. From the cold and the incessant rain, he told himself. Not from the chill in Thor's voice.

"I told you, I didn't mean - "

"Loki, I don't want to hear it. I'm so tired of your excuses." When Thor dragged his head upright to look at him, Loki was struck by how worn Thor looked. Gone was the murderous rage. In its place was a grief that dulled the brightness of Thor's eyes. Thor leaned back against the cliff face as if he needed its strength to hold him upright.

Loki almost missed the burning rage. Even if it had been directed at him.

"I didn't want Odin dead," Loki spoke to the sea. It was easier than looking at Thor. "The spell didn't hurt him. It wouldn't, I made sure. I know you don't believe me - "

"You're right. I don't."

" - but I didn't mean to harm him. His ego - yes. He deserved that much, after everything he did." Loki turned back to Thor. He knew looking at him would hurt, and it did, but Loki couldn't make himself look away.

"Please, shut up," Thor said, voice weary.

"Odin threw me in a cell. Didn't bother asking me any questions, oh no, he just locked me away like I was nothing."

"Perhaps he was as uninterested in hearing your excuses as I am."

Loki's fingers curled into the rocks beneath his hands. He itched to hurl them at Thor. Instead he worked his fingers down deeper, squeezing harder until the rocks dug painfully into his flesh. He watched Thor while Thor ignored him.

They sat side-by-side, silent, while the rain battered them and this isolated Midgardian coastline Odin had sought out as the place for his final breath. His final words. _I love you, my sons._ He even sounded like he'd meant it, before he directed their attention away from him.

_So we didn't have to watch the moment of his death._

Finally, Thor drew himself to his feet. The rains tapered off as Thor scanned the sea before him. Looking for what, Loki had no idea. The sky overhead began to clear and still they did not speak. Thor held out his arm and Loki spied Mjolnir making a steady trajectory toward them. Once Thor had hold of his hammer, he could leave this place at any time. Leave Loki.

"You heard Odin, he shook off my spell work," Loki said, speaking to Thor's back. "The mortal sorcerer, he said Odin chose not to go back to Asgard. You know he didn't need the Bifrost or Gungnir to travel the realms. He was Odin. He went where he pleased. If he didn't come back, he must have had a reason."

Mjolnir hit Thor's hand with the ease of long familiarity. But Thor didn't spin it and fly away. He held Mjolnir at his side.  

"And what do you think his reasoning must have been?" Thor asked quietly. He turned his head enough to speak back to Loki over his shoulder. But kept his eyes downcast. As if that would keep Loki from seeing the tears spilling down his cheeks. "Did you think it was because he thought you were doing such a good job? Putting on plays and building statues. Making a mockery of his rule."

Hot shame and bright anger twisted through Loki's gut. He didn't want to admit he'd been waiting for Odin. Waiting for him to return to Asgard with a roaring vengeance to rout out the usurper. Loki had waited with an almost needy longing. A want for a reaction. For attention. Knowing how unspeakably furious Odin would be with him. Maybe this time Odin wouldn't just throw him in a cell and walk away. Maybe this time Loki wouldn't be ignored.

As the years rolled past and Odin didn't come back, Loki had been disappointed. It was pathetic. He knew it. The longer he waited, he more resigned he became to Odin's absence. To his letting Loki down. Again.

And so he started building statues. And new theatres. And sponsoring plays. And yes, he even tried his hand at writing a few. All done in Loki's name with Odin's face. It had been strangely soothing, even if Loki was taunting the old man at that point and Thor knew it. Even Odin must have known.

Loki blinked back stinging tears. "I don't know why he didn't come back all those years. Why didn't you?"

Thor didn't spare him a glance. He looked so tired. Aged beyond his years.

 _Do you think Mother would be proud?_ echoed in Loki's head, only this time it was his own voice mocking him.

"Because I thought I was doing something important. Because I thought I wasn't needed there. Father seemed well enough and encouraged me to find my own path." Thor's laugh was bitter and full of sharp edges. "But that was you, wasn't it?"

Loki looked away and didn't reply.

Thor nodded, as if Loki's silence spoke for him. "I was worried about letting him down. Worried he would be angry and feel I was abandoning him when he needed me. 

“But when I went to him, he was understanding. More than I thought possible. I felt at peace. More so than I had felt in years, like a burden had been lifted away. And I was grateful to father for it. But all the time - it wasn't even him. It was you. All the time I spend on Midgard, my father was close by. And I never knew. Never knew how much I was letting him down."

"Thor."

"I'm going to return to Asgard," Thor said. "Bring word of Odin's fate. And then I will accept mine." Thor turned to face Loki then and Loki forced himself to look at the still damp tear tracks upon Thor's face. But Thor stood tall and imposing, every inch a new king. "Asgard is closed to you, Loki. I do not care where you go. Though I suggest you do not remain upon Midgard."

Loki stood. Bringing himself to his feet slowly, deliberate. As if his legs weren't suddenly trembling so much he was in danger of them not holding him if he moved too quickly. He curled his hands at his sides as he stared at Thor.

Thor waited. Waited for Loki to speak, to protest, to launch himself at him. But neither moved beyond the tremors running through Loki's body. Thor nodded once to himself. His judgement was made. He moved to turn away, to lift Mjolnir to the sky.

And Loki couldn't stand to let him leave. Not like this. Certainly not with the last word.

"Fine, go!" Loki spat. "Go back to Asgard and sit upon your newfound throne. Let your fawning sycophants fall all over themselves to admire and simper over your noble self. The mighty Thor, so brave, so selfless. Finally returning home to take up the very duties he turned his back on. Nevermind that you had no difficulty walking away in the first place.

"You speak about being afraid of abandoning Odin in his time of need, of leaving him alone. How _brave_ of you to find it in yourself to manage it anyway. I shouldn't be surprised. You had no difficulty walking away when I needed you. You left me lying in the dirt. Bleeding and helpless, to wake up _alone_ and yet you have the _gall_ to act like you're any better than I. I may have bespelled Odin and cast him down to Midgard, but at least when I went back to Asgard _I stayed_."

Thor stared while Loki ranted, Mjolnir doing a slow fall from being upraised to down at Thor's side and then falling to the ground. When Loki stopped to take a breath in, Thor crossed the short distance between them in a single step and grabbed at his shoulders.

"What are you saying? You woke up? You planned it, you pretended...I saw..." Thor trailed off as he watched Loki's face. 

Loki pressed his lips together tightly, wishing fervently he hadn't said anything. Wondering how to take it back. But then Thor was grabbing at him, pulling at the leather tunic covering his chest. Loki slapped at his hands and tried to pull away.

Thor wasn't having it.

He shoved Loki against the cliffside wall and pinned him in place with one hand while with his other hand he shoved between the asymmetrical folds and ripped the tunic open. The fastener holding the tunic closed came apart with so much force it tore the leather.

Loki squawked. "I just had this made, you idiot!"

Thor shot him an unimpressed look. "Didn't father's tailors wonder why he was having clothes made in the size and colours of his dead son?"

Loki didn't answer. As Odin, he only had to order things be done and they were. No questions asked. During Loki's own short tenure as king years - a lifetime - ago, no one ever jumped to do his bidding like they did Odin's. So what if people may have thought Odin was going over the edge with grieving for his dead, discarded second son. It was no less than what Loki deserved. What Odin deserved.

And then Thor was touching gentle fingers on the grotesque scar left over from the Kursed creature impaling Loki on the same weapon Loki had used on him. Right before he flung Loki back off it, sending the blade ripping through his body a second time. The scar Loki couldn't get rid of, no matter how many times he tried to heal it or magic it away. The one of his back was even worse.

Loki squirmed to get free and Thor let him. Loki turned his attention to his clothes and busied himself trying to magic the tunic back together. He didn't notice how very quiet Thor had gone. Not until the sky grew dark again and thunder rumbled overhead.

_Not again._

Loki looked up from his newly repaired leathers. Thor was staring at him with suspiciously shiny eyes. "What?" Loki snapped. "Aren't you supposed to be busy with your glorious return to Asgard? Go. And take your foul weather with you."

"He stabbed you," Thor said. "For real."

"Of course he stabbed me for real. As I recall, you were there when it happened. Not that you bothered to stay and help me," he added, both relishing and regretting the look of anguish that swept over Thor's face.

"You were dead," Thor said helplessly. "You died in my arms. Your breath stopped. Your heart stopped. You think I would have left you if I thought there was any chance to save you? Loki?" Tears spilled from his eyes as Thor curled a warm hand protectively around the back of Loki's neck. "How? How did you come back?"

"I don't know," Loki said.

"But you must have some idea? Was it your magic? Did it heal you?"

"I don't know, Thor," Loki said, his voice sounding as tired as he felt. "The things I said to you - I was not lying. I could feel my life draining away, and could do nothing to stop it. I wanted to you to know...and then there was nothing. I didn't expect Valhalla to welcome me after all I'd done, but I thought there would be something. But there wasn't. Then I awoke. I was in pain. And I was alone."

Thor cried freely while Loki spoke and Loki felt his own tears slipping from his eyes. He could no sooner stop them than the words that tumbled forth.

"I didn't know where you'd gone, so I returned to Asgard in the guise of a guard. You weren't there. Odin was. I told him a body had been found. I wanted to see what would happen. If he would care that I was dead. But he knew me. He saw through the guise. I struck first, wrapping magic around him and driving him to the ground. I didn't plan, I didn't know what to expect. I didn't think I could win against him. But he was weakened. From grief."

Loki wept, choking on the words he couldn't hold back. His voice hitched and hiccupped in places. "I dreamed of killing him, but then when I had the chance I couldn't do it. I was so angry with him, I wanted to hurt him. I wanted him to know how much I hated him. But mother was gone, and you had left me, and he was all I had left. So I wrapped him up as tightly as I could in magic and took him to Midgard. Then dared him to punish me for it. But I didn't want him to die, Thor. I swear it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"

Grief and shame threatened to swallow Loki whole, his breaths coming in small, panicked gulps. Thor folded his arms around him and pulled Loki tightly against his warm, still damp chest. 

They both cried. Loki in messy, broken sobs. Thor in silence save for the unsteady intakes of air. The wind picked up again. The tide of the crashing water crept closer to their feet. The sun sank low in the sky. But Thor did not let Loki go.

When their tears were finally spent, Loki tried to pull away. Thor released his tight hold, but kept him within reach with his hands gripping just below Loki's shoulders.

"You're a mess," Thor said, eyeing him.

"So are you," Loki shot back.

"I'm not the one whose face looks as if it was pummeled recently."

"Says you," Loki lied. Despite a couple blossoming bruises, a small cut on his forehead, and a scorched patch of beard and skin where Loki's fireball made its mark, Thor looked as unscathed as always.

"I'm sorry I you hit so hard. There is honestly no one else in this universe who infuriates me more than you."

"I know the feeling."

Thor's smile was small and tight. He shook his head. "What am I to do with you? The things your mind comes up with. Though I suppose I should no longer be surprised. When you awoke on Svartalfheim, did it never once occur to you to return to Asgard and simply wait until I returned?"

"Not really," Loki confessed.

Thor sighed. "Loki." He gave Loki a hard look and an even harder shake. "What you did to father, to me, was petty and cruel. I am still very angry with you and we are going to talk about this further. But I will tell you now, if you ever - ever! - do anything like that again..."

"What?" Loki interrupted with a scoff. "You'll beat me up?"

"You'll be begging me to beat you up," Thor finished smoothly. "I mean it, Loki. This has to stop. Please. Not when you and I are all we have left. I cannot lose you again. I won't survive it."

"Yes, you will," Loki said confidently, if a bit sad. "You'll have to."

"Yes," Thor said with sadness of his own. "I'll have to. But my heart will never be the same."

Loki bit down hard on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from crying and embarrassing himself in front of Thor even more. Thor patted the same cheek softly. "Stop it."

He did. "Now what?"

Thor pulled away and looked around, as if only just noticing how well hemmed in they were. He hefted Mjolnir. "If you can put your dignity to one side for a moment, I'll fly us to more stable ground. And then we'll go home."

Loki hesitated. "Are you sure you want me to go with you?"

"Yes," Thor said firmly. "I am."

"I can't imagine people will be very pleased to see me. Especially after we return without Odin. They'll blame me."

"Perhaps," Thor said. "Or perhaps our people may surprise you."

"Perhaps," Loki allowed, though he did not share Thor's optimism. "I suppose we'll have to think about what to do if this Hela shows her face."

Thor chuckled. "Ah, yes. Our unknown sister. Oddly, I was so busy with my other sibling, I haven't had a chance to give her much thought."

"How does it feel? To not be the oldest?" Loki was curious. Being Odin's first-born heir was as much a part of Thor's identity as being Odin's son had been to Loki's.

"I don't know yet."

"It hurts, doesn't it? Being lied to."

Thor made a small, disbelieving noise in his throat. "By someone other than you, you mean?" Thor sighed, turning serious. "Yes. It does. I am sorry Father put you through this twice."

"You really think he would have known better about keeping secrets like this given how well it worked out with me." Loki tried not to sound bitter, but failed. Thor's snort of laughter was soft and filled with regret.

"I'm sorry you have to know how it feels, too," Loki said. He meant it.

Thor set a heavy hand on Loki's shoulder. "All the more reason I am glad to have you with me. We can get through it together."

Loki tried to smile, but it felt shaky and wrong. His feelings were still a writhing mass of confusion and he was afraid of how it might feel tomorrow. How he would feel. How Thor would feel. If Thor would change his mind. What Loki would do then.

"So, the plan," Loki said with false cheeriness. "Go back to Asgard. Mourn father. Crown you. Keep the people from stringing me up. And then find out a way to deal with Hela."

Thor nodded. "Sounds simple enough," he mimicked Loki's tone.

"Well then - what are we waiting for?"

Thor called Mjolnir to him and stepped in close enough to Loki to grab hold of him before pulling back suddenly. "Oh, Loki, one more thing. Going forward, would you please stop stabbing me? I mean, we're not children anymore."

Loki stared at him aghast. Like Thor had asked him to give up magic. Or the colour green.

"I'm just saying," Thor added quickly. "It's undignified for a king to be stabbed by his younger brother. It sends the wrong message."

"It's not like I stab you that often."

Thor made a sound of disbelief. "You just stabbed me twice."

"That doesn't count."

"You stabbed me the last time we were on Midgard."

"There were extenuating circumstances."

"The party the night before my coronation?"

"That was an accident. I was aiming for Fandral."

Thor held up a stern finger. "No more stabbing!"

Loki blew out a long, exaggerated sigh. "Fine. I'll try."

A hint of genuine smile played at the corners of Thor's mouth. "Let's go home."

Loki nodded. "Lead the way."

They each circled an arm tightly around the other as Thor spun Mjolnir up to the sky to carry them away.

Together.

 

_**end.** _

 


End file.
